Surprisingly, we haven’t yet secured any advertising dollars for our show, so we can’t yet afford to buy a flip video camera. However, we’re confident that advertising money is coming. And the entire interview is below!
(If you’re interested in advertising, simply email our staff at mormonbachelorshow@gmail.com)
INTRO:
(Aaron, a handsome, blonde man walks out of the front door of a super awesome mansion. We assume that it is his. He must be rich.)
AARON: Oh, hello. I didn’t see you standing there. Welcome to “The Mormon Bachelor.” My name is Aaron and I’ll be taking you through this journey to find true internet/reality based Mormon love.
(Aaron picks up a rose)
AARON: Over the next two months, Adam Mckay will be on a journey to have a great journey. The first round will consist of 22 eligible Bachelorettes. Adam will make out with all of them, but only choose 7 to move onto round two. Then the community – that’s YOU! – will choose the rest. There will be lots of good times, even better kissing, and then finally Adam will hook up with his one true internet/reality love.
(Aaron sniffs the rose and winks at the camera)
AARON: Will it be you…?
INTERVIEW:
(Adam wears the exact same pink t-shirt from his photo. We never see Adam’s full face – just his profile - too add mystery)
ADAM: Well, I’m born and raised right here in Utah Valley. I grew up in Lindon as an only child. I’m currently living in Orem, with my awesome roommates. I only have roommates because they are awesome. I could easily afford to live in my own place. And right now I have actually ventured into a new industry of insurance. I started by own business.
AARON: I thought you were already in the insurance business?
ADAM: I was. But that was only auto and life insurance. I’ve now expanded to home insurance. I call my business, “Insurance by Adam.” I’m very proud of that title.
AARON: As well you should be. We’ve already received quite a few applications.
ADAM: Of course.
AARON: As far as you’re concerned, what are you most looking for in a potential, oh…. let’s say, “partner?”
ADAM: Wow. That’s a hard one. So let me settle for a generic answer. I think I’m really needing a very trustworthy person. Someone that is completely honest with me.
AARON: But to be fair, that IS generic. Can’t you be a little more personal and honest, yourself?
ADAM: Well, naturally, when I say I’m looking for a “trustworthy” person, I mean, a “trustworthy person who has big boobs, who loves to make out and play video games, and doesn’t nag me.” But I think that implication is understood. After all, when a girl says she’s “just looking for a guy with a great sense of humor”, what she really means is: a “guy with a great sense of humor who is also tall, handsome, has all of his hair, makes tons of money, and loves to spend it on me.”
AARON: That’s fair. Speaking of making you laugh, let’s talk about the fun side of all of this. When is it appropriate, in your mind, to kiss on the first date?
ADAM: Well, I have a rule. A RULE. I do NOT kiss on the first date. I think it’s very important to develop that chemistry between each other without introducing anything physical. That said, if I feel like kissing a girl on the first date, I do think it’s appropriate to go ahead and break that rule.
AARON: And has that ever happened?
ADAM: Oh, heavens yes. Many times. I hope that doesn’t make me inconsistent to my self-stated ideals.
AARON: Not at all. And how did that work out, kissing on first dates?
ADAM: How do you think? Awesome.
AARON: Nice.
(Adam nods. So does Aaron. They both laugh)
AARON: So what you’re saying is that you’re a true gentleman, but if the girls apply for this show, they can expect to make out with you?
ADAM: Bingo.
AARON: There are quite a few girls that have applied online to be your Bachelorette. Have I said that already? I don’t want to sound like we’re overcompensating in this interview for a lack of applicants, because we’re NOT.
ADAM: Absolutely not.
AARON: The great thing about this adventure that you’re going on is that they will be planning the dates, and paying for the dates, so you’ll be able to see which girls are totally cheap, and which are generous. And when making out with you, they’ll have a chance to really showcase their enthusiasm and creativity. From your perspective, what makes a great first date?
ADAM: A great first date is somewhere we can just go together and just get to know each other and make out. Nothing too fancy. Just kind of keep it casual. I’m not shallow, or materialistic. I mean, as long as we are making out, what does it matter where we are? I don’t want to put any pressure on the girls. I just ask that they plan something completely different. Something that we’ve never done before, that we can experience together. That’s really not too much to ask.
AARON: So Adam, you are a Latter-Day Saint, correct? You are 31-years-old. Extremely handsome and great looking. Awesome body.
ADAM: Thank you.
AARON: The million dollar question that attractive, desirable guys like us are asked at some point in our lives is: Adam, why aren’t you married yet?
ADAM: Aaron, that’s a GREAT question. And I wish I knew the answer. Because, you’re right, I AM really good looking. I DO have a great body. And I AM an amazing catch. So it’s a total mystery to me. I honestly wish I could tell you I have any faults or flaws, but I’m just not aware of any. My ONLY answer that I can think of is that I just haven’t met a girl up to my justifiably high standards. Which makes me the victim in all of this. I really do deserve this show.
AARON: You really do. Thank you, Adam, for such a gracious interview. You’re a very impressive person.
ADAM: I agree. And it was my pleasure.
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